I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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