Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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