Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
