I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
