Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
