We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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