So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize