Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
