I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
