I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
