the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
