You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
