Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
