She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
