Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Yo dont text me then not text me
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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