no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He felt like a one man threesome
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
