glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
