You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
