My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So many bounce houses so little time
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
