So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
