well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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