All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
