i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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