Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
