Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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