So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
