we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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