I'm drive I can fine osifer
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's never too late to be topless.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
