so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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