he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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