I'm lost and stupid without you.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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