so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
