i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
