Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
