So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
worst night to have a conscience
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
