My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize