the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
