Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
