Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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