garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
