you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize