Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
