Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
