woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
