He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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