He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
