At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
