i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
