oh god the rape fog is back!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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