You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
