Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
