so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize