I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
