I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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