I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
