yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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