you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
