This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
