My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
