Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
