remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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