hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The chlamydia really affected his face.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize