everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
