The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
