I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
