Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
