I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
COCAINE IS GR8
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
