If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
