I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
