Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
